I know what you're thinking. What the Hell does that title have to do with Star Wars toys? Well this isn't necessarily a "toy" column only. After all, the Header calls it Collecting Everything But Dust, doesn't it?! 

For this column (or as I call it, the rantings of a lunatic) I'd like to take a look at the utterly out of control world of SW collecting. About two years ago I was living in a three bedroom apartment in Delaware. One room was, of course, the sleeping chamber, one was the computer/utility room, and the other? Well, that was the Northern Delaware Annex of the Lucasfilm Archives. I had things displayed in such museum quality that visitors to my home spent hours admiring my SW stuff like they were looking at an art exhibit. One wall was entirely comprised of figure racks to carry all the carded figs and MicroMachines that came down the pike. Arranged from floor to ceiling, bookcases housed my ever-growing collection of SW novels, books and periodicals. Still other shelves displayed SW models and diaromas (I've won contests <g>).  

It was a golden age for me, but I was SO far in the hole from $300 shopping sprees at TRU, that it was like an addiction. It was an easy addiction to pick up, and a difficult one to break.  

MOVIN' OUT 

Circumstances arose that forced me to move my entire collection north to Pennsylvania, to a tiny (and I mean tiny) 2 bedroom apartment, where there was no way my museum could fit. So, all of my old friends and trophies were lovingly packed away and moved......all 59 ( most are paper towel case-sized) boxes. My collection, with the exception of the indispensable SW info books, hasn't seen the light of day since early '97. The boxes are stacked neatly as possible in the second bedroom, floor to ceiling, and in both closets, and some are even tucked under my bed. 

(Why am I telling you this you ask? To illustrate a point I am going to make further along in the article.)  

Most of my collection is comprised of toys--about 65% I'd say. The other 35% is games, posters, Hamilton collection plates, a life-size 3-PO Special Edition cardboard cutout, etc. And yes, there are the aforementioned SW paper plates. Let us not forget the party favors, the invitations, wrapping paper, tablecloth, napkins, stickers and so on....  

ONCE YOU START DOWN THE COLLECTOR'S PATH, FOREVER WILL IT DOMINATE YOUR WALLET.

I was out of control, to say the least, and I was broke. SW collecting is a great and fun hobby, but it will break you if you let it. I have had to cut way, way down on my spending in recent months. Whereas I once didn't think twice about flipping off paying a bill and plunking down $60 for a couple of card variant figures, I now think three times before spending $6 on a current figure. I really , really, really want the Bantha, but I've not allowed myself the pleasure of forking over the $30+ they're asking for it. ( TRU is by far the cheapest on this beast, by the way, as opposed to $38.99 at Kay-Bee , or $48.75 at FAO.) Besides it will only sit in a box in a room with all the other SW stuff I can't display. Don't get me wrong. I love SW and collecting it more and more as time goes on, but a little of Yoda's wisdom rubbed off on me as I was packing away his figure. He said to me, "Collecting excessively...hmmmph, A Jedi craves not these things...." (OK, so he never actually said anything like that, but I needed a pithy line, and it fit.) 
 

A CONDITIONED RESPONSE 

As I wrote earlier, I've tapered off on my collecting, but one thing I do allow myself to do is to get a figure or two from time to time. When I 'm not doing the spending, I torture myself by window shopping. It's funny, from years of going to chain stores and hobby shops on the hunt for SW booty, I cannot leave the local K-mart without going to the toy aisle just to see what they've got. I justify it as research for my chosen position of "He who is all-knowing about what's out." If you've heard of Pavlov, you'll recognize this as a conditioned response. Just substitute me for the dog (no jokes please), K-mart for the bell and SW toys as the food......the saliva can stay the same. 

Well anyway, I went into TRU and what I saw knocked me on my keister. The same TRU that never has anything new, had everything that was supposed to be released by that point. Figures, vehicles, collectors dolls, etc., you name it, they had it, and I wanted it. This aisle was packed with the Rancor & Bantha (*sigh*), Princess Leia Collection, Expanded Universe, Epic Force, not to mention the other $5000 worth of stuff I had passed on earlier. They even still have that lone Lando Calrissian 12" doll on the shelves that no one wants ( Kind of makes me think he needs to go to the Island of Misfit Toys.*sniff*) 
 

BIG WHEEL KEEPS ON TURNIN', MERCHANDISE KEEPS ON ROLLIN' (OUT) 

I figured it out. To get everything SW that is out right now, including the high-end merch, from Airspeeders to Zuckuss and everything in-between, I'd have to work for 6 months and devote every FULL paycheck to collecting. Screwing over the car payments, utilities & rent....Hmmmm...... No wait! That's BAD! And now, for something completely different......my points: 

1.) Lucasfilm- Slow the heck down, willya!! Cut back a little. I think George has enough money by now. For God's sake between myself, Steve Sansweet and a few other notables, I think we built a wing at Skywalker Ranch. 

2.) Collectors- I beseech you, learn from my mistakes: a) Moderation- Choose a SW memorabilia avenue you like and stick to it. Whether it be figures, games, cards, comics, etc., you and your wallet will thank me. Except for you high-end collectors. $6000.00 for a life-sized light up Darth Vader is a total nightmare. For 6 grand he better get off the pedestal, clean my house and have dinner ready for me when I get in the door! Even I'm not that nuts! b) Patience- You don't need it as soon as it's available, with some notable exceptions (Han & Tauntaun large). The longer you wait the better the likelihood that there will be a sale on it (TRU never has sales though; try Kay-Bee, sometimes they have kick-ass reductions). It's usually going to be hanging around the stores taking up space and eventually they will need to get rid of it (Shadows of the Empire figures for instance). c) Most important, be cost conscience. If you paid $30-50.00 for a red carded Momaw Nadon when it became scarce, you should be summarily executed and all your SW belongings (including the red Nadon) mailed to Chris Bishop c/o Echo Station.... No seriously, collecting stuff is supposed to be about the fun you get from finding things and sometimes the buying can be a little pricey. What does it really matter if you've got the Tie Fighter Pilot with the number "00" or "01" on the sticker? Just as in life, it's what's inside that counts.... Then again, that argument wouldn't work for the Half-circle handed Boba Fett. Oh well, have fun, but don't sell your children or siblings into slavery for that Luke and Wampa two-pack. 
 
 

Any SW collecting questions you may have, regarding the value or availability of an item, or any comments you have are welcome. Mail me and you might get your question and answer posted for all to see.

Chris Bishop is a SW fanatic - lunatic is actually a better word - who's collection of SW memorabilia is so large he can claim it as a dependent on his taxes since it occupies an entire room of his apartment. ) 

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