I'm pretty sure I did it right this time. I avoided spoilers for months (and you have no idea how hard that is when you're involved in a site like this), didn't go near toy stores, didn't buy the book when it come out earlier this week, didn't read any of the reviewers comments from those that got into the early premieres, even avoided our message board sections about the movie ... I wanted this to be as surprising and positive of an experience as I could possibly have. I did purchase and read The Approaching Storm, since it promised insight into the events leading up to Episode 2 (and this is one of the reasons I'm somewhat perturbed) ... and while I steadfastly avoided spoilers, I definitely wanted to at least be an "informed" audience. I took all of these precautions because of what happened with The Phantom Menace ... having been so disappointed with Episode 1, I was determined that I wouldn't allow myself to get ruined for Attack of the Clones ahead of time ... I desperately wanted to get caught up in the excitement of the moment again.

A friend and I wandered into the Star Southfield theater complex at around 9:30 last night, about two and a half hours before showtime. Since the Star Southfield is the only theater in Michigan showing Episode 2 in digital format, odds were good that the crowds would be larger than at "normal" theaters showing the movie ... and a late addition of two more showings indicated that response for tickets was overwhelming. An early arrival seemed warranted ... and besides, if worst came to worst, we could always just sit and have a few drinks before the show to kill some time. Things were pretty quiet as we walked in from the parking lot ... news vans from a local radio station, as well as from the local FOX and ABC affiliates were parked by the front doors with cameramen and on-air personalities sitting around looking pretty bored. So we headed in to have a few drinks with the folks at the bar, where we were confronted with our first examples of people taking a movie opening a little too seriously ... yes, that's right: costumes. A stormtrooper and Padawan Anakin with Kung-Fu Action Grip to be precise. Keep in mind that no webslinger costumes or Mary Janes were in evidence when we hit the premiere of Spiderman last week ... and yet we call them "comic geeks". Go figure.

Sitting around at the bar and having numerous discussions with the folks waiting around, the sentiment seemed to be the same:

"Please God ... let this be better than The Phantom Menace".

I'm happy to be in agreement with a number of other reviewers in saying that yes, indeed, it is better than The Phantom Menace ... but then again, most of the films shown during the Star Wars Fan Film Awards are better than TPM, so you kind of have to keep it in perspective. A swift kick in the shins is better than a hard punch to the face ... but that doesn't mean that I really want you to go ahead and kick me, either.

It was the best of times:

• There's significantly little Jar-Jar in this movie. I can't begin to tell you how happy this makes me.
  
• The costume designers get high praise for their work ... and I suspect that when you hear people call Attack of the Clones "visually stunning," they will actually specifically be talking about Natalie Portman's clothing ... most likely her pseudo-dominatrix outfit that rumor has The Plaid One designing himself.
  
• Three cheers for digital film! Having been lucky enough to see this on the big screen digitally delivered, I've got to tell you that if you're going to see the movie, see it digitally if at all humanly possible.
  
• For those that haven't been ruined by spoilers, this movie will shock you several times ... both obviously (Anakin's loss of not just the duel but his arm as well and the opening explosion of the royal ship) and in a way that won't really hit you likely until you're out in the parking lot ("wait ... the good guys came up with the Death Star?" ... though that may depend upon your definition of "good" in that case).
  
• The music during the film is, as always, spectacular.
  
• Visual effects and CGI work were excellent ... the asteroid chase stands out as not just an example of visual excellence, but the simple fact that they did not have any music playing during the entire scene and allowed the overwhelming THRUM of the sonic charges to reverberate through your chest cavity made this scene a personal favorite.
  
• The origins of Boba Fett - even the most unspoiled among us knew of the character named Jango Fett who, given the timelines, was inevitably going to turn out to be Boba's father. The beginnings of this character that has achieved supreme cult status among many aren't quite that simple though ... having Boba Fett turn out to be a clone of Jango that watches his "father" die at the hands of a Jedi, with such malice and hatred visible in his eyes as it happens ... you begin gain insight into some of his mindset and actions.
  
• Yoda: Much, much cooler and interesting this go-round.
  
• Obi-Wan: showing himself to be the life of this trilogy, with fantastic bits of humor that were very well delivered. This actually picked up quite a bit during The Approaching Storm, and I was pleased to see it continue in AOTC.
  
• The battles: The fight scenes are without a doubt as excellent as one could have hoped for.

It was the worst of times:

• Jar-Jar is still in the movie. In fact, not only is he in the movie, but someone decided that this backwoods (excuse me ... "underwater" ... ) rube that also happens to be a magnificent klutz would make an excellent planetary representative that belonged in a position of power for their planet on Coruscant. Chevy Chase made me laugh every time he fell down the stairs on Saturday Night Live ... but I don't recall him getting a Senate seat out of the deal.
  
• Can someone define the word "Queen" for the people of Naboo? You see, to me, "Queen" does not indicate an elected office that would have a mandatory two-term limit much like our own Presidency ... however, I suppose a plot device to get Amidala away from Naboo and onto Coruscant as a Senator so that they could have that opening explosion sequence had to be introduced somewhere along the way ...
  
• The CGI, while fantastic, tends to move far too fast, particularly during Yoda's fight scene. The work on the wizened Jedi master appears to have been taken over at this point by the special effects team responsible for Flubber, transforming him from the respectable Jedi to a flying, whizzing, bouncing-off-the-walls piece of bright green phlegm supercharged on methamphetamines. I suspect that if and when the DVD comes out, a sample freeze frame will look like this:
  
  Not only that ... but please, someone promise me that there will be no more attempts to make characters "ride" large-scale CGI monsters as if they were in some poorly funded intergalactic rodeo cartoon episode of the Hannah-Barbera cartoon hour.
  
• I've seen Natalie Portman in other films, and she certainly appears to know how act, display emotion, and be quite believable when in character. No clue what happened here, and the same goes for Hayden as well.
  
• One of the things I was expecting from The Approaching Storm was that Luminara Unduli would be playing a much bigger role in AOTC than her few brief appearances as an exceedingly minor background character. The book (in my opinion) leads one to believe that there will possibly be a romance blossoming between Luminara and Obi-Wan ... and yet she's basically nothing more than a plant or any other form of scenery in AOTC. Definitely not what I expected, and it's disappointing -- the chemistry between the two in the book would have played very well on screen, and given Ewan McGregor more room to flex his acting muscles.
  
• Count DooDoo, or Voodoo, or PooPoo, or whatever his name is ... whatever it is, he wins the "crappiest delivery of a line" for the entire movie award. His statement of "settling things ... with lightsabers" came off with a tone and delivery that I will swear to my dying day matches exactly Lone Star from Spaceballs as he says "at last we meet ... for the first time ... for the last time". Flat, droll, lame, obviously over-contrived ... I just wish that Christopher Lee had been able to slip in the matching confused look at his own delivery for the sake of letting us know that he knew how bad it was ... and maybe even a heavy sigh as he thought back on the roles he used to get.
  
• While the conveyor belt scene was an interesting diversion that had me wondering if they weren't going to throw some lava action in an episode in advance, it was just a tad too obvious of a ploy towards "Keep an eye out for the video game, kids!" for my tastes.

As I said while walking out of the theater: "It's not as bad as I feared ... but it's not as good as I'd hoped for, either."

One last note ... for those of you, like me, that don't want things spoiled for Episode III ... try and stay away from IMDB, too ...