What is Star Wars without visions of the future? They're a big part of the stock-in-trade of the Jedi Knight and the Sith Lord. Yoda, Qui-Gon Jinn, the Emperor, even old Obi-Wan Kenobi, have all made use of their Force-fueled foresight. Armed with my knowledge of the films, such intelligence and gut-instinct as I possess, I shall attempt to follow in their footsteps with a number of predictions for Episode II. Please bear with me: even for Jedi, this isn't an exact science, so I am bound to screw a couple of these up.

Note that I have been aggressive in avoiding spoilers for Episode II. I know the title, of course, and many months ago saw some early casting news and a couple of character names. Beyond that, I'm working entirely from the resources described above.

And now, without further ado, my predictions:

The Opening Scene

1. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away . . . Okay, we all know that's going to be there, and we can be fairly sure we'll get the familiar Star Wars theme, stylized title, and a text crawl with . . .something to say about the situation into which Our Heroes will be thrust. What precisely, I don't know. Hey, it's in motion, and you know what Yoda said about motion and the future.

However, I will say this: Once the crawl finishes, and we see the empty starfield, I think I can make out the bare outlines of what we'll see next: A Republic cruiser, carrying Jedi; I'm not sure where it will be going, or precisely why it will be going there, but I know the Jedi will be in hoods-up mode, and, when they do drop the hoods, they'll be Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker.

Again, this isn't much of a leap. All three Original Trilogy films featured a few basic elements in their opening: Star Destroyers, some kind of small ship action, and a planet very close at hand. I expect George Lucas to repeat the pattern, and all three films in the Prequel Trilogy to have common elements in their beginnings. The Phantom Menace's opening is even quite similar to the Original Trilogy scheme, and quite similar to the opening of Return of the Jedi, the film immediately preceding it in the production timeline.

Anakin

1. Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight. "Only a fully trained Jedi Knight with the Force as his ally will conquer Vader and his emperor," Yoda told Luke, and we know who ended up doing that: Darth Vader, a.k.a. Anakin Skywalker. So, Anakin must complete his training, and become a full Jedi Knight. The question is, When? By the end of Episode II, is my call. Some might object that Obi-Wan said Darth Vader was "a pupil of mine, until he turned to evil," and that Vader himself said, "When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master." As to the former, we know old Obi-Wan was veracity-challenged; and as to the latter, there's plenty of wiggle room for George Lucas to make Anakin a full-fledged Jedi Knight without making Vader a liar: the Vader line is vague, especially when we consider Qui-Gon assuring the Council that Obi-Wan, though "he [had] much to learn of the living Force," and so was still -- dare I say, "from a certain point of view"? -- a learner, yet a good candidate for the Trials, and, one assumes, full knighthood.

2. Little Orphan Ani. Ma Skywalker will buy the farm. Depend on it. The Phantom Menace suggests that the root of Anakin's failing will be fear, and the thing Anakin fears most is losing his mother.

So, in order to capitalize on that fear, Shmi is going to have to bite the dust. And I believe, in order to give Anakin some credible motivation for turning to the dark side, not to mention Darth Vader's eventual aid to the Empire hunting down and destroying the Jedi, that it must be that the Council will at least appear in some way to blame for the death, even if by no other action than refusing Anakin permission to return home at a time he believes (rightly or wrongly) to be critical.

The Phantom Menace also indicates that, in addition to the difference in their ages and backgrounds, Anakin's attachment to his mother stands between him and Amidala. Shmi's demise is one way to remove that impediment, and hasten the starcrossed couple to their inevitable fate.

3. Wedding Bells. Three out of four Star Wars films end in a celebration, and what better celebration could there be than nuptials between the Queen and the newly-Knighted Anakin? With a little luck, the approximately two-year gap between Episodes II and III will mean the honeymoon will be well over by the time we see the couple again, and we can anticipate the biggest, nastiest screen divorce since The War of the Roses.

4. "Let my people go!" Having Ben-Hur-ed his way through the Pod Race in Episode I, Anakin will take another page out of the Chuck Heston playbook, and make like Moses. Anakin will free the slaves. He's already prophesied it, himself: "I had a dream I was a Jedi. I came back here and freed all the slaves." He's vowed to return home and free one slave, his mother. That's not going to be possible (see item 2 above), but he'll go home to make the attempt, and it'd be a heckuva waste to go all the way to Tatooine just to mourn. I don't think he'll be parting the Dune Sea, but look for a space-borne exodus of slaves from Tatooine after a confrontation with Tatooine's answer to Yul Brynner, Jabba the Hutt.

Obi-Wan Kenobi

1. "Do you think a queen and a guy like me . . .". . I expect another love triangle to form in Episode II, and I don't expect the other two sides to be Jar Jar Binks and Aurra Sing. Look for Obi-Wan to serve as speedbump on the road to romance for Anakin and Amidala, and look for the Chosen One's rival for Amidala's affections to lose, big time. It worked in the first Trilogy, didn't it, so why change? Again, the flyboy with an attitude will get the girl, while the earnest Jedi Knight will get . . . guard duty on Tatooine a few years hence. (Here's an ugly thought: Obi-Wan and Amidala might be related....)

Look for the consequences of this rivalry to form a basis for the rift between master and apprentice, and even between husband and wife as Anakin replaces fear of losing his mother with fear of losing the his wife.

2. General Kenobi? No, not yet. Look for this one in Episode III.

3. Anakin may call him "Master," but . . . Look for Obi-Wan to be perpetually overshadowed by his apprentice. What hope does he have? Anakin's the Chosen One. Look for this to fuel the inevitable rift between master and apprentice, as well. Combine this with his loss in the romantic rivalry, and it seems clear there are some pretty low personal motives to go along with the high and noble good-of-the-galaxy stuff driving that old man in the deserts of Tatooine in Episode IV.

Palpatine/Lord Sidious

1. What's in a name? Is it Chancellor Palpatine still, or might the chancellor have already become an emperor? Is Palpatine Darth Sidious? Does Palpatine have a first name? My predictions are, in order, yes, he's still Chancellor Palpatine, but that he'll have imperial powers by this time, granted by the senate (if anyone ever calls him Emperor Palpatine in the course of the remaining episodes, I'll be much surprised); yes, Palpatine is Darth Sidious, and we'll see that plainly, but not until Episode III; and, finally, no, Palpatine doesn't have a first name.

Of course the main point is that a good bit of the machinery of empire will already exist in this film, irrespective of republican nomenclature and trappings. Remember that the empire developed gradually: "The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away," Tarkin said, announcing the dissolution of the Imperial Senate. [emphasis added] And that was in A New Hope, aboard the Death Star. Commander Tagge seemed to think the senate, even under the emperor, a credible check on imperial power: the New Order plainly was neither complete nor entirely secure until relatively late in Palpatine's reign. But, after ten years or so in power, Palpatine must have moved the process along considerably.

2. A good apprentice is hard to find. "Always two there are . . . no more . . . no less. A master and an apprentice" -- so said Yoda. That seems pretty severely to limit the number of Sith, and to leave Darth Sidious with not much of a talent pool upon which to draw for a replacement for the fallen Darth Maul. Neither does it seem to me that the ten year lapse between Episodes I and II allows him time to train a replacement from scratch, not one useful against the Jedi, at any rate. So I predict no new apprentice for Lord Sidious this time, unless the Two Only Rule is completely bogus, or completely misunderstood. Operatives, yes, dark Jedi, yes, Jedi turncoats and moles, yes, probably as high as the Council itself, but a new apprentice? I don't think so.

Clones and Clones Wars

1. Spaarti! Spaarti! We've all been waiting for clones to crop up since the first time we heard Luke say to Obi-Wan, "You fought in the Clone Wars?" Episode II could well be a veritable clone-a-rama, maybe even giving us a look at the long-awaited Clone Wars. Then again, it might not be. George Lucas has a way of surprising us, not always for the better. But, the title, Attack of the Clones suggests a little something, does it not, that there are clones, at least, at least some of whom are a little hot under the collar about something?

I think there is reason to believe we won't be disappointed. One bit of early casting news I read, before swearing off the stuff entirely, concerned Christopher Lee being cast as a "separatist leader." I've seen Lee, apparently in character, on the cover of the Insider, and he was, apparently, human. A human separatist, then, we might suppose him to be.

Now here's a curious thing about humans in the Prequel era galaxy, and that is, they seem to be in the minority among sentient species. Sure, there's plenty of humanoid life; almost every alien we see is basically a humanoid. We see the basic humanoid form all over Tatooine; Naboo's non-human population, the Gungans, are definitely humanoid, as are Naboo's assailants, the Neimodians of the Trade Federation. The Jedi Council is all humanoid, but of the twelve, only Mace Windu seems indisputably human (Depa Billaba might be, no reference source is clear on the matter; similarly, Adi Gallia might be human, but the references differ on whether or not the plumes/tendrils protruding from the top of her headdress belong to her headdress, or her head, so the jury's still out on that one).

So, it could be that humans are outnumbered, and perhaps disadvantaged in other ways by their minority status. Might this not lead a separatist movement to seek a way of improving the odds, of closing the population gap? Especially if they are minded to compel acceptance of their separation on the rest of the Republic? Especially if they must fight to break with the rest of the galaxy? And to do it quickly? We know how long it takes to produce a human soldier, even when the supply pool is vast.

Could it be that the Attack of the Clones is an incident in a war of secession, a war in which, to increase their number and improve their odds, the separatists have turned to massive cloning to produce soldiery on a scale matching that of Republic forces, a war fought, at least on one side, predominately, by clones -- a Clone War?

I think it possible. I also think that, if I'm right about this, then we may see in Episode II something of the shape of things to come, when the Empire will dispose of vast armies of Stormtroopers, that at least some of the clones we'll see will be the forerunners of the Stormtroopers of the Original Trilogy. We might even get to see genuine Stormtroopers.

2. If indeed Episode II does deal with the Clone Wars, and the Clone Wars do pit Jedi against clone armies, it stands to reason that Anakin will find himself pitted against these enemies of the Republic. But might not Anakin feel some sympathy with the clones? After all, even if he didn't hatch from a Spaarti cylinder, neither is he a product of normal human reproduction. And, might not Anakin Skywalker, who has spent his life either owned or controlled by non-human sentients have some sympathy for the clones' masters' separatist ideology? Notice that his friends on Tatooine were almost entirely of the human persuasion. This could be yet another factor causing young Anakin to question his allegiances, which questioning could be but another entrance to the dark path we know he is fated to follow.

Such as they are, those are my predictions. All that remains now is to wait to see how much egg I'll have on my face come next May.

Reactions After Seeing The Film

With only one screening (the midnight opening) at my local googleplex to work from, it's hard to give the film its due. Some of my recollections are fuzzy, and some things might have struck me differently if I'd not gone from four hours freezing in an outdoor line to nearly three hours sweating in an overheated auditorium, all on the high side of my usual bedtime. Still, I'll venture these preliminary thoughts. Something general, first; then, something a little more specific, but with spoilers.

Overall the film was good, in spite of itself, or perhaps its director. In fact, it was better than good. It delivers more than what we saw in the trailers and the commercials, not a lot -- they gave away far too much -- but still non-trivial things and things well worth seeing.

The immediate impulse of many is to compare this film first to The Phantom Menace, then to the original trilogy, especially to The Empire Strikes Back. It beats The Phantom Menace hands down. There are similarities that go deeper than the mere continuity of characters and some settings. But there are major differences, as well, and it is in these that Attack of the Clones surpasses its predecessor. It has a much tighter focus, virtually none of the cartoonish element of Episode I, or the juvenile, if not juvenile delinquent, attempts at humor. It is more economical with story-telling resources; it is leaner, faster, less expositive.

Compared to the original trilogy, and to Empire in particular, it fares less well. A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back are still the best films of the five extant. Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace bring up the rear. That leaves Attack of the Clones a solid installment, right in the middle of the pack, qualitatively.

Visually, the film is impressive, but not perfect. In some respects, the virtual sets and locations even seem to have declined in quality from The Phantom Menace. (This is the one way in which the film is much closer to the original trilogy.)

The John Williams score disappoints. Between the main title and end credits, only once or twice was I even aware of the score, and those passages were familiar music from the scores of earlier films. What is new for The Phantom Menace is mainly a "love theme" that is unlovable, and much over-used. "Han Solo and the Princess" it is not. (It's strange: on the E! Attack of the Clones special, Williams, discussing the score with Lucas, speaks of having no love theme among all the themes he'd composed for the saga over the last three decades. Well, then what was "Han Solo and the Princess"? A lot better than "Love Theme from Attack of the Clones," that's what.)

Whatever hopes Lucas's use of a professional screenwriter on Attack of the Clones might have raised were totally unfounded. The story and pacing are much better, which must be at least partly due to the writing, but Attack of the Clones has dialog every bit as bad as that in The Phantom Menace, if not worse, and perhaps sets a new standard for bad lines in a series that has a considerable number of outstandingly, astoundingly, bad lines. What's worse, the worst lines mar what should be some of the film's best, most important moments, and cluster around the one character who should be the heart of the film, Anakin Skywalker.

There aren't any lines in Attack of the Clones that are insuperable, but some come close. It is in fact possibly the one way that the film is drastically inferior to The Phantom Menace.

And what about the acting? Well, this is Star Wars, and Star Wars is not known for stellar performances: consider Mark Hamill in any of the three films; Carrie Fisher particularly in Return of the Jedi, where even Harrison Ford manages to look braindead. Often, the best performances come out of things rather than actors, or seem to: the droids, Yoda, Jabba the Hutt. In Attack of the Clones, the acting ranges from good to nearly non-existent. Like the bad dialog, the bad acting seems to center on Anakin Skywalker. (But there are exceptions: Yoda/Frank Oz and Chancellor Palpatine/Ian McDiarmid don't seem to have any trouble around him.)

It's definitely worth seeing, worth seeing more than once, even (I certainly intend to see it again, several times). It definitely tells us things we want to know, it does so in a visually impressive fashion, and it never leaves us bored.

SPOILERS START HERE

I find I don't like this Anakin Skywalker very much. We are told he has great powers, but comes up short when the chips are down. Ineptitude, it seems to me, should not be a characteristic of the Chosen One. Whatever the defects in his psyche, there should be few if any in his powers. Yet, beyond the Coruscant Speeder Chase, he's uncomfortably like his sorry excuse for a son, with one frightening exception. The Tusken Massacre. There, he may give in to anger and hatred, but it appears he acts with terrible efficiency and complete success. Beyond that, he allows the senator he is charged with protecting to get them both into big trouble; he gets captured by Geonosian bugs, and allows her to be captured; he has to be rescued from his attempted rescue of Kenobi. He loses his lightsaber, and then gets it irreparably damaged. He leaps at a duel with a Sith Lord, only to have his attack swept aside at the cost of his limb by Darth Geezer.

It seems to me that a lack of powers, or ability to use or control them, should not be characteristic of the Chosen One. He should be a preternatural master of the Force, undone by the frailties of his character. The pieces for this, and some of the dialog, are there in the film; Lucas apparently chooses to ignore them, preferring to make Anakin an analog of Luke.

Anakin Skywalker should be the central character of this film. He is not. Or so it seemed to me. Whether through bad acting, or, more likely, weak lines and misdirection, Anakin comes off as a dud, easily overshadowed by possibly the greatest Jedi Master of all, and the least likely, Yoda.

Hayden Christensen at least looks right for the part, and shows some promise of being able to do justice to the demands of Anakin's anticipated transformation into Darth Vader in Episode III.

What Anakin should be to this film, Yoda is. A Muppet's gotta do what Muppet's gotta do, and in this film that's quite a bit. Wise Jedi Master, master swordsman, warrior-leader, hero -- Yoda fills all these roles, with distinction. He and his young charges help Obi-Wan Dimbulbi see the light when a search for the location of the Kamino system leaves him in the dark. When other Jedi Masters have questions, he provides the answers. He even goes in person to Kamino to investigate the clone army, and takes personal command of them, saving the day for all and sundry who have gone on a hopeless rescue mission to Geonosis: he is, as the newly-revised Essential Guide to Characters calls him, General Yoda. And, when Dooku/Darth Tyrannus has the audacity not only to ding up Obi-Wan and Anakin, but to utter one of the biggest clinker lines in all Star Wars history, Yoda draws his weapon, lights up, and -- like a little green backward-talking John Wayne, single-handedly hauls Jedi bacon out of the fire.

Yoda runs away with it, folks. His performance, his dialog, his action scenes -- head and shoulders above the rest they stand. He is essential to the film. Take Yoda away, replace him with any other character, and it would cripple the film. Other characters could do these things, but they would seem mundane by comparison.

Poor Obi-Wan Kenobi. Last time round, he said "Yes, Master," a lot, and little more -- well, there was some lightsaber work, which was pretty impressive, but otherwise, he was scarcely there. Kenobi gets a much better part this time around. The rules of Jedi stoicism, about which many complained, describing it as "wooden," seem to have been much relaxed, making him seem a lot more like -- Yoda for instance, or that old coot, whose name escapes me, Luke Skywalker runs into in the Jundland Wastes. However, there's no Sith-slaying, and he doesn't fare particularly well against his new opponents, and his new saying, "my young Padawan," is not much of an improvement and used far too often. Still, he does more, and does so more credibly in this film than the last. At least when he's on his own. On Kamino, in pursuit of Jango Fett, even on Geonosis at first, Obi-Wan's a lot of fun. But, once Anakin shows up, anywhere, any time, Kenobi undergoes yet another transformation, this time from mature and reasonably capable Jedi Knight to nagging, ill-tempered scold. It's not a pretty sight.

Padmé Amidala is another story altogether. She's undergone a transformation as well, from a pretty girl to an attractive young woman, not to mention from a queen into senator. And, as she has grown, her costumes have shrunk, revealing a whole lot o' senatorial skin in this installment. It's unfortunate, but the character reveals little else. Perhaps it's a function of so many scenes with young Skywalker, who drags down almost every performance in the vicinity, or the effects of being love-struck, or love-story stuck, but the senator from Naboo is another dud.

And what of the villains? We are offered several, none of them really satisfactory. Darth Sidious is the primary villain, or at least the Villain in Chief, but we see very little of him. As in Episodes IV and V, the senior Dark Lord is in the background, while his apprentice does the dirty work. This time, that apprentice is Count Dooku. DOOKU -- how the heck are we supposed to take seriously a villain whose name sounds like doo doo, in more ways than one? Call him Darth Tyrannus, then. What's the difference? A Dooku, by any other name, is still an Sith geezer with a silly name. Unimpressive. Most unimpressive.

Among the lesser lights of villainy in this film, the one that shines most brightly is Jango Fett. Unlike Darth Maul, Jango seems to have something more upstairs than empty rooms, and acquits himself well in his few scenes: Unlike his "son," he seems to be able to hold his own against Jedi. Like Maul, however, he proves short-lived, which is a shame; he had potential. But what's up with the clone "son"? Can't he get one the usual way? Did he forget to wear his cup on a particularly dangerous bounty?

Then there's Jar Jar. Thank the Maker, there was precious little of him in Attack of the Clones, and his use was somehow appropriate, as the ultimate useful idiot, employed by Palpatine in his grab for imperium.

I noticed two continuity problems (I think: at that hour, it's possible a little something slipped by me). First, parts of Amidala's white outfit seemed to vanish inexplicably in the Geonosian arena. What happened to the lower part of the top, and her right sleeve? As I recall it, it was there when they chained her up, then, presto, a few moments later, it was gone. Second, I don't remember seeing Artoo and Threepio between the time Threepio revived after Artoo's repair job, and their appearance at the very exclusive wedding on Naboo. Assuming I didn't zone out during their retrieval from the battlefield, just how did they get from one place to the other? GL had to show us Darth Vader shuttling from Bespin to his Star Destroyer, but the droids he just assumes we'll assume got there somehow? For them it doesn't matter?

Last not but not least, how did I fare with my predictions? Let's examine the list.

The Opening Scene: About that, I wrote this:

"However, I will say this: Once the crawl finishes, and we see the empty starfield, I think I can make out the bare outlines of what we'll see next: A Republic cruiser, carrying Jedi; I'm not sure where it will be going, or precisely why it will be going there, but I know the Jedi will be in hoods-up mode, and, when they do drop the hoods, they'll be Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker."

Okay, I blew that one big time. No Republic spacecraft; no Jedi. Lucas followed his basic template, with an incoming spacecraft, a nearby planet and some small craft action; but he executed it in different materials.

Anakin: For Anakin Skywalker my first prediction was that he would be a full-fledged Jedi Knight by the end of the film. Another miss, no two ways about it. I can almost see Yoda telling Anakin that when face Count Dooku again he has, only then a Jedi will he be. Not that I expect that to happen -- but I do still expect Anakin to be knighted before he leaves the order, or the order leaves, or expels, him.

Next, I predicted Anakin would be orphaned in this film. Finally, I got one right. I think it's even fair to assume that he blames the Jedi generally, and Obi-Wan, specifically and more intensely. It wasn't said in so many words, but it is very easily inferred from his reaction. And, while tallying up what I was right about (it's little enough), I don't mind saying I was right about it motivating his journey to the Dark Side. Of course, I had no idea just how far and how quickly it would propel Anakin down the dark path. I thought that it would have to eat at him for a while. And I never once suspected he'd massacre Sandpeople. Quite the opposite: I had half-expected him to take refuge among them.

"Wedding Bells" -- that's how I headed my next Anakin prediction, the marriage of Anakin and Amidala, and ... I got that one right, too, though I assumed much different circumstances. At least I got it in the right part of the picture.

I also predicted Anakin would make like Moses and free all the slaves on Tatooine. That was brilliant predicting, wasn't it? Of all the things I predicted that didn't happen, this has to be the one I regret the most, not only because the prediction was spectacularly wrong, but also because it was something I very much wanted to see.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: For old Obi-Wan, I predicted he'd be part of a love triangle, that he'd be overshadowed by Anakin and that he wouldn't be made a general yet. I think I can claim victory on the third of the three; on the other two, well, to quote a prominent Gungan, "My give up." Who knew the Jedi were forbidden to form attachments? I still think that something might happen between Obi-Wan and Padmé Amidala, or that Anakin might think it has happened, but it sure as heck didn't happen this film. And, while I could make a case that Obi-Wan is overshadowed by his Padawan, it'd be a weak one given Anakin's hap-hazard performance as a Jedi, and the way both master and apprentice are overshadowed by Count Dooku and Yoda.

Palpatine/Lord Sidious: For Sidious/Palpatine, I made two basic predictions. First, I predicted he'd be Emperor in all but name, and that a good bit of the machinery of empire would be in place. I don't think anyone will disagree that I called that one right, though I must admit I was amazed by just how much of the machinery of empire was in place by the end of the film. (And I wonder, seeing the forces dispatched by Palpatine at film's end, can it be said that the Clone Wars ever really ended?)

Second, I predicted he would have no apprentice, because, unless the two-only rule had been repealed or misunderstood, he simply wouldn't have had a pool or backups, or the time to train a new apprentice from scratch. Had I thought about it, I would have realized Darth Vader showed the solution to the problem: convert a fallen Jedi. As it was, I think I got it half right, when I said no apprentice, but that he would have lots of operatives, which might include among them Dark Jedi or turncoats, since he made of a Jedi apostate an apprentice. Well, maybe I got it a third or a quarter right.

Clones and Clone Wars: I put a lot of work into predictions about these two. Too bad I blew it. I got the war of secession right, but all my elaborate theorizing about the composition and motivation of the Separatists seems to have been off the wall, and I put the Clones on the wrong side. When I wrote of "seeing a glimpse of the shape of things to come," I didn't think it would be such a clear glimpse: I wasn't expecting to see the future Imperial forces fighting along side Jedi, or embarking and shipping out to conquer the galaxy . . .for the Republic; I really expected the clone troopers would be marching under the banners of the separatists, coming under Sidious/Palpatine's direct control only after he was secure in victory over the separatists.

As to a possible sympathy with the separatists and their clones being another factor in Anakin's fall, well, that was off the wall, too. Way off.

Now ... how long is it till Episode III opens again?