The
Art of the Con
Exploring the Motor City Comic Con Was An Unexpected
Adventure
by Dave Phillips
6/6/99
The Path to the Dark Side
Before I even sit down to write this part, I just know that I'm going to catch a lot of flak from guys across the world for it. My masculinity will be called into question. I'll be told that I'm a dork, a dweeb, possibly even a prude and a loser. I knowingly accept all this in advance because I've just got to ask the question...
...what's up with all the porn at Sci-Fi Conventions, anyway?
Okay, okay...put DOWN the torches and pitchforks already, I'm not ready to be burned at the stake just yet for speaking up about this. At least let me finish and then decide if you need to flame me, all right?
Thanks.
Now, anyone who really knows me knows that I've got nothing against pornography in the least. I'm an adult, and I enjoy perusing the occasional adult magazine and/or video from time to time...pretty much just to depress myself with visions and images of things that will never, EVER be happening to me in my life...but I digress. As I was saying above, there's nothing wrong with pornography in my opinion, and I'm possibly one of the most outspoken people against censorship of any kind that you'll ever meet...but at a comics convention? A convention that bills itself as a "Star Wars Convention"?
Sure, I know what you're saying..."but lots of the attendees are in your age group or older Dave...stop being such a loser". To a degree, that's true...but there were an awful lot of kids wandering around during the convention as well. Maybe I'm getting old. Maybe it's the fact that I'm a parent now and I was thanking whoever's in charge of things that my 8 year old stepson wasn't there with us so that I didn't have to have "THAT" talk with him to explain the women and/or magazines and videos he'd have seen. I mean, let's take a look at the "big draws" for the convention and see what we have here:
- Star Wars guests like Billie Dee Williams, Kenny Baker, Mercedes N'Goh, and Femi Taylor. Sure, they appeal to my age group, but I'd hazard a guess that at least 50% to 60% of the folks in line to get autographs and pictures taken with these folks were under the age of 16...maybe even under the age of 14, come to think of it. And just a few tables down from the Star Wars signatures you could meander on over to any one of five scantily clad (and when I say "scantily clad", I refer you to the woman walking pretty much naked down the aisle whilst wrapping herself in a bedsheet...and somewhat failing the attempt) women selling their own autographs on copies of Playboy, Penthouse, and yes, even their adult videos. I can only imagine the conversations that went on: "Yeah, honey...you go get in line with little Johnny for the Lando autograph...I'm goin' over here to the Land O' Cleavage..." Whatever.
- Comic Books. It's the "Motor City Comic Con"...and well, I seem to recall reading an awful lot of comic books in my youth, so again, we have a draw for the kids. Sure, the "serious collectors" are primarily adults, but it wasn't "serious collectors" that were pouring through the boxes of "Cartoon Central" comics like "Cow and Chicken" directly underneath the huge, 20 foot wide display of "CELEBRITY FEATURE ADULT MAGAZINES!!!" (capital letters and exclamation points yes, were on the banners). During one walk-by of said booth, "Dad" (I'm guessing) was merrily leafing through back-issues of Hustler while little Susie (no, I didn't really stop to get the girl's name) was standing idly by his side, all of about 7 years old, looking through the gap between "Dad's" body and arm whilst he flipped open centerfold after centerfold and piled up a stack of take-home reading that would've had Larry Flynt beaming with pride and joy (and dollar signs...) had he been in attendance. I wanted to slap him senseless. I'm actually sorry that I didn't, even though he's obviously already placed himself in that "senseless" category.
- Toys, toys, and more toys. Yes, Episode One material cluttered the aisles enough to make it look like a Toys-R-Really-Expensive had exploded somewhere in the back of the convention hall and just rained Darth Maul action figures and accessories all over creation. Of course, these same booths drawing kids in with lures of "REALLY CHEAP STAR WARS STUFF!" were also selling "COLLECTOR'S EDITION PAMELA ANDERSON AND TOMMY LEE XXX HOME VIDEO!" copies by the truckload to passing acne-faced teens who already had the baby oil in their hands as they passed said dealer a twenty for the tape. These same dealers had "TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE!! NOT A BOOTLEG" and "MIGHTY MORPHIN CASH COWS...errr...POWER RANGERS!" tapes sitting next to "CELEBRITY T&A III" and "XXX ANIME" tapes.(And will someone PLEASE explain animated porn to me? Please? I mean, c'mon...how weird do you have to be to get to the point where watching real people just doesn't cut it any more and you need to see Blondie and Dagwood goin' at it?)
Now that I've vented a bit, and voiced my little diatribe, allow me to restate my original opinion on the matter: there's absolutely nothing wrong with pornography. What I'm basically saying that I've got a problem with is the presentation. You've got to show an ID to get into any adult bookstore. Regular book stores that carry adult magazines have them hidden behind higher non-transparent barriers that cover up everything but the title and they're all on the top shelf...out of line-of-sight (and reach) of children. This stuff was all out in plain sight of anyone at any age walking by, with the barest effort to conceal things by placing post-it notes over three key areas of the female anatomy...and said post-it notes, where they had managed to stay on at all mind you, were all flipped up from people walking by and wanting to see "the big picture" to the point that they were permanently curled and next to useless.
I'm not suggesting that these folks not be allowed to sell their wares at the conventions at all either, mind you. I'm just suggesting that perhaps it would behoove convention organizers to establish an "adults-only" zone wherein the folks that wanted to buy said materials could wander in, get what they need, and move onto the next area. Yes, it might be a hassle for the vendors that would have to either move into the adults area completely or maintain two separate booths...but in the interest of protecting the kids that are roaming around the exhibit halls, I think it's a solid move that should be considered.