You
Know You Liked It
Even if you won't admit it...
Commentary by George Hill
8/7/99
Has STAR WARS Episode One lost it’s steam already?
Many people in the world have not even seen Episode One yet and already it seems like the
movie is Old News.
Many "Fans" moaned and groaned about being disappointed with Episode one. People who stood in line for longer than an average workday still came out saying, "I didn’t like it." Yet when asked what DID they like they will go on ALL DAY about the great POD RACE, the details of the crowded arena, the cameo of Willow there… They go on about how evil and cool Darth Maul is and his ultra slick Sith Style Jedi Saber fighting. They will talk to you about the Battle Of Naboo and the battle droids and the nervous but resolute Gungans who stood up to them. They will gnaw your ear off about the true skill a fully trained Jedi has that Luke Skywalker would never attain….
But they still didn’t like the movie… Yeah RIGHT.
I was in line… I got a ticket for the premiere midnight screening and after I saw it, I got in line and camped for 8 hours till morning so I could get tickets for my kids. We all camped out. And in the morning we got up and formed a line by the door. Bypassing a snoring man in a tent that was planted in some grass. We were standing around when he got up and yelled at us, declaring we were not a line. That HE was the start of the line. He announces proudly that HE camped for 3 days! I challenged him about that, saying what was the point of camping if you sleep in and miss getting in line? He screeched at us again that we were not in a line, and that "What, do you think I am stupid?" to which I said, "If you camped for 3 days for movie tickets, then…YES. I do." He challenged me to fisticuffs at that point. I explained to him that the Force was weak in him and that he was being a counterpoint to the theology of the Jedi that he advertised he supported by that Jedi T-shirt he was wearing. But, that if it meant so much to him… he could cut in front of me, and I would even share a doughnut with him. Anyway… some hours later this same gentleman with the severe bed-head and rumpled shirt was the first to proudly declare to the FOX news crew that HE did not like TPM. Buuuuullllllll SSSHhh..... Sigh... What was I to expect?
The next day at work I saw Episode One on CD in Windows
Media format - pirate copies made from video cameras smuggled into the theatre. Desktops
bristled with Action figures standing triumphantly on tops of monitors or tower cases.
But, Oh… the movie was a big let down. These are the same people who screamed at each
logo that came in the opening credits… Lucas Arts: "SCREAM!" Star Wars:
"SCREAM!" And that famous scrolling away opening…. I was surrounded in a
flood of screaming fans in mid star-gasm, fans who had built this moment up to such a
point of over-expectation that George Lucas would have had to have walked on water hand in
hand with Obi-wan and Jesus to have satisfied them.
The day after I was still gleaming in my own afterglow and had my 4 sons decked out in
Star Wars merchandise from head to toe. And then some twerp had the gall to say to us
"What? You liked Phantom Menace?"
As they say in Richmond "Talk to the hand." I won’t hear dissent. Especial from a guy wearing a Darth Maul hat. You liked it. You know you liked.
Don’t make start a Dark Ages style Inquisition here. Recant your heresy! You liked it. It may have not been the pinnacle moment of your fan boy life, but you still liked the movie.
Every little Film Critic Caesar had to take their 15 minutes of fame and use it to downplay this film. It is sad. These of course are the same people who make themselves feel smarter than everyone else by stating that they don’t like every popular film in the world and criticize it to death. Dude, I know you - don’t lie to me… You suck up every bit of the same Opiate of the Masses that I do and find solace in hype and marketing spending just like I do. Proof? You went to Taco Bell for lunch and I know you hate Taco Bell. Don’t lie to me I see that paper coin for the "Defeat the Dark Side" game in your shirt pocket!
Don’t worry about deflating my balloon; mine is made of Kevlar. I am secure enough in myself to proudly say I LOVED Episode One. I got teary when Anakin ran back to his mother, who was facing the HORROR of letting her son go off to parts unknown. I reveled in the defeat of Darth Maul… I loved this film. My wife and kids loved this film. And they did not suffer anticipation-constipation either.
So all those over-opinionating despots out there can
continue to strut and puff your chest feathers and ignore your true feelings… I know
the truth… And I sense much fear in you.
The STAR WARS SAGA is still, and always will be, the king of movies.
(George
Hill, Jedi Knight. Age 29. Married to a lovely young dancer. 4 boys under the
age of 6 And was only able to bestow one of them with a Star Wars name. Works in computers
now after spending time in Military (Light Infantry), Law Enforcement and Fugitive
Recovery.)