The
Princess’s New Clothes
By George Hill
7/2/99 Some time ago, a friend asked me if I wanted to take a really easy VIP PROTECTION job. I asked how long it would last and he said "Aw - ‘bout 14 hours."
"Yeah, right... See ya..."
"No – it’s easy... at the Jefferson Hotel in Richmond... You get a room and all the room service you want - for 14 hours."
At this point interest was perking up... The Jefferson Hotel in Richmond Virginia is undoubtedly the most posh - the most snotty - the place where the term "filthy rich" comes from. Needless to say - one can’t afford to even walk on the sidewalk... and to get a room there! WOW! Free ROOM SERVICE! I was reeling!
"Who is it?" I asked. Knowing there had to be a fly in this soup... and flies tend to look just like famous rich people.
"Princess Diana."
"Dude! That is NOT COOL!" I got a little irked - Since Diana had died in France in a car accident, just a short while prior. And my friend joking like this was in poor taste. Even if Diana was not a Princess related to my nation. it was still tacky.
"No, no, no, no. Her DRESSES..."
At this point I picked up my range bag and started to walk away. My friend ran up behind me. "I am serious! Diana auctioned off some of her dresses, and there is going to be a charity brunch where these dresses are going to be displayed. The owners want the dresses protected. That's where you come in."
"Okay," Dresses have much less attitude than VIP persons "Sure. I’ll do it."
The money was solid, and the room service would be the icing on the cake.
A couple days later I was in the Jefferson. "Posh" took on a whole new meaning. In front of the hotel there was several low slung red Italian sport cars... and a yellow one. A couple HUMMERS. The place smelled of money. I went to the security office and made sure I knew who was going to be on duty that night and what they looked like. Unarmed security... Sheesh... about as useful as a boil. I went to the room, which was set up at the end of the hallway, and set up shop. I take every thing I do VERY SERIOUSLY, so my bag was full of my tools. Very small cameras, motion sensors, and a monitor. Setting these up took just a few moments. And when I was done. I knew when someone was coming my way - and I knew who it was. H&K and Mossberg provided additional protection.
The Dresses arrived and the Ladies who owned them clucked over the dresses like mother hens. Insisting on white cotton gloves before handling. The Shroud of Turin never had it so good. Soon it was me and The Dresses. And room service, huge bed, huge TV... and The Dresses... worn by headless mannequins.
The most expensive dress there was valued at $45,000.00. The total of all the dresses came to a couple mil. Got a call from the owners. They told me an NBC affiliate in London was sending a crew over to do a story in the morning. Wow, armed baby-sitters, British reporters, Jefferson Hotel... After downing several 25 dollar sandwiches, 15 dollar cafs, and waltzing with each dress - just because I could... My duty was done. The reporters took photos - the brunch got under way, and I went home with a wad of greenbacks and some 14 karat gold pens the hotel left in the room by the phone. And promptly forgot about the whole deal.
Until my wife told me about what she saw on a news show. It was reported that one of Princess Amidala’s dresses cost over $60,000.00 just to make. I was struck by the fact that after this movie hits us, this dress will have a value double what was reported. Just like the value of Diana’s dresses doubled after her crash.
Upon seeing the movie my wife and I were in awe over (among everything else) the queen’s costumes. It seems most of the designs stem from ancient Japanese royal formal wear. I say "seems" because I am inviting an expert to comment on the subject. I think many of the dresses are close copies. Some of those headdresses are a riot... but some how I get the feeling I have seen them before in certain history books about Japan. The dresses themselves are so richly done as to set the standard for SW dress ups. Imagine the reaction of Corellian Royalty at a fancy Ball... Who else had the artistry like the Naboo? And could we have accepted less? Look at 16th century French dress. Almost as garish - like the Naboo...
I wonder if where these dresses will go after all the hoopla dies down... if it dies down. These are the most interesting gowns this century... and certainly more interesting than Diana’s dresses were. Looking at Diana’s gowns - they were rather plain. The Naboo Queen’s are far more interesting... and undoubtedly more valuable.
But how is that? Amidala is a fictional character, in a fictional universe. Diana was a real flesh and blood princess - and if she remained married to Charles - after some time, could have become the Queen of England. Diana championed many noble causes in her time, education, welfare, easing the suffering of thousands of people even those not of her own country, trying to outlaw the use of land mines... That alone would be wonderful enough - believe me! Land mines are hideous devices - I have seen them first hand - and you wouldn’t want to.
Amidala’s purposes were not as clearly noble as far as I could tell. She talked about people dying, but we didn’t see too many. I think she was just fighting to retain power and authority. But let’s not be harsh on young Amidala - we don't know her as well as of yet. Still...
Do we value the Queen of Naboo more than the Queen of Hearts?
Maybe so... Put Diana’s dresses in a showing - you get a couple hundred rich people over to view them and donate money to her charities. But I bet - put all of Amidala’s dresses on display... and you will have a major attraction - like everything else in the Star Wars universe. (What charities would receive funds; Equality for Droids, or Save the Ewoks?)
Put me down for the VIP duty at the Jefferson, and have room service send up... forget the sandwiches... Prime Rib and Lobster tails.