Hello everyone, welcome to another mind-shattering edition of TINTCYLF. As promised, this week I'll be answering e-mail questions sent in by Star Wars fans from around the globe. I'd like to thank all of you who actually took the time to write me. This was a lot of fun and I hope the next time I do a "mailbag" column there will be many more e-mails to sort through. All right, let's get to it. First up is this question from Roy:

Throughout the entire Star Wars continuum, it has always been a widely held fact that Tarkin was responsible for creation of the first Death Star (hence the term Tarkin's Folly, as it has been referred to in at least a few X-Wing books that I can remember). In Episode II, we clearly see Dooku and his minions in possession of the holographic schematics for the first planet-buster. What is going on here? Is Lucas breaking from already-established canon? Or am I just misinterpreting something?

Sheesh, getting serious right off the bat here! This seems like one of those questions that belongs on that "Ask the Jedi Council" feature over at Starwars.com. I know I'm not Steve Sansweet or Rick McCallum, but I'll do my best on this one.

Roy, what we have here is a slight misunderstanding, or a misinterpretation of something that you read. I don't ever recall seeing anything that stated Tarkin was responsible for the creation of the Death Star. It is a "widely held fact" that Tarkin was in command of the battle station, but in all the novels, comic books, and role-playing guidebooks that I've looked through, the designer and creator of the Death Star was a guy, (or was it a Twi'lek?) I believe was called Bevel Lemelesk. (I could be wrong about that name, and I probably am.) AOTC has shown us that it was Poggle the Lesser and the Geonosian race that designed the Death Star, and since the films are the only "true" canon, that's what we'll have to live with and accept. I'm not 100% sure on this, but I believe the term "Tarkin's Folly" simply refers to the fact that the guy screwed up and allowed the Empire's prized possession to be blown up by a punk kid in a snub fighter on its maiden voyage. By the way, it truly sucks that Peter Cushing is dead. He would have made a killer Monty Burns in the Simpon's live-action movie. Thanks Roy!

All right, next up we have this gem from Joseph Buckingham:

Ok, What's with Yoda? Why would he move like he did while fighting Count Dooku one minute, and suddenly lean heavily on his cane the next? Is he trying to hide something? And why didn't Yoda (if he was indeed that damn good) take on Vader and Palpatine himself instead of sending a half-trained apprentice?

Ah yes, the great "Yoda fight scene" debate. That was just about the greatest thing I have seen on a movie screen in my entire life. Watching that little green guy whirl around like a madman with his little lightsaber was pure, unadulterated glee. Simply fantastic.

For your first question Joseph, I'll give you the deep, meaningful response, and then I'll give you my personal feelings on it. If you're looking for a plausible reason why Yoda started limping as soon as he was done whupping Dooku's hinder, perhaps it had something to do with Yoda's previous conversation with Mace Windu wherein Windu revealed that the Jedi Council's powers to use the Force were diminishing. Now, at this point of the saga Yoda is still a bad-ass master of the Force, but maybe his physical ability is starting to go on the decline because of his age, and it takes a lot out of him to engage in physical combat. After all, he did have to absorb several blasts of Force lightning, Force-move several heavy objects out of the way, fight Dooku, and hold up a gigantic pillar that was about to crush Obi-Wan and Anakin. Now, My personal belief is that it was done because, well, it was damn funny.

As for why Yoda didn't take on Vader and Palpatine himself, you'd have to figure by the time ESB rolls around that his Force powers and physical ability are just much too exhausted to effectively combat the Empire. Perhaps not having a little thing called "CGI technology" in 1983 to make Yoda move had something to with it as well. Capice?

General Halycon chimes in with this conundrum:

I have a question for you. Is it just me, or do those weird animals in AOTC in the meadow scene look like giant, mutated, balding, hamsters? And if so, what the hell is Anakin Skywalker, the chosen one and soon to be Darth Vader, doing riding one of those pigs with attitude? Just figured you'd need a few strange questions like this to keep the column going.

Absolutely correct General, this is the exactly the type of deranged, warped question I was looking for. Your efforts are to be commended my friend! Giant, mutated, balding hamsters eh? Interesting take. My friends and I have had several discussions on just what the hell these things are. One of my friends thought they were giant blood-filled ticks. (gross). But the coup de gras explanation has to go to my friend Marc, who came up with this brilliant deduction. Here's an abbreviated transcript for you:

ME: Dude, these things are bizarre, are they supposed to be intergalactic cows or something?

MARC: Whatever they are, they are simply not right. Sheesh.

ME: Wait a second, they're in a field. They're dumb, grazing animals. They're in a herd. Egads man, could these be the fabled NERFS?

MARC: No, I don't think so. But maybe they're made of Nerf. Yeah, that explains it. Didn't you wonder what the hell that stuff was made of when you were a kid?

ME: Of course!

MARC: Well, there you go. NERF is made of the hides of those Star Wars creatures!

So there you go General Halcyon. Oh, and to answer your second question, Anakin was riding those things for one very simple and obvious reason -- he was showing off to get some sweet Natalie Portman lovin'!

Ahem -- um -- okay, finally this comes from Mr. Thomas S. Dixon,

Jeff, do you believe that these prequels have somewhat sullied many of our childhood memories of the original trilogy due to their somewhat lesser quality compared to the originals?

Wow, great question Thomas. I could write several columns on this topic alone, and I touched upon some of these issues in TINTCYLF #1. Personally, I can't speak for anyone else, but I know it would take a lot more than just these prequels to "sully" or destroy my childhood memories of Star Wars. Nothing will ever erase that horrible winter of 1982, where as a young lad of eight I was up suffering from a terrible ear infection at 2 AM. The only thing that could comfort me was the opening crawl of ANH as it made its broadcast debut on HBO. I forgot all about my painful ear as Luke and Leia swung across that Death Star chasm. Man, just talking about it gives me chills. When I was a kid, all we needed was a wiffle bat for a lightsaber and a few toy blasters and we could role play til the sun went down. Star Wars was everything to us, and on rainy days I popped in my Trilogy tapes and went off to another world -- loving it each and every time. Feelings that like don't ever fade away Thomas, and not even Jar Jar can make you forget them. But you know what? Ask me how I feel about this again, if and when George decides to mess with the original films by adding some more CGI and sticking that turtle necked Jimmy Smits into them. Yikes.

See you next week folks!

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(Heartthrob, maverick, innovator, intellectual, philosopher, visionary ... None of these words has anything to do with Jeff Carter, now a 28-year-old video editor / news photographer for a local television station somewhere in Massachusetts. Jeff has spent the past few years half-heartedly defending Episode One and resting far too comfortably on the laurels he received from his Drew Struzan and Timothy Zahn interviews. Now he's back on the Star Wars scene voicing his opinion with "This Is Not The Column You're Looking For," every week at EchoStation.Com.)