Move over, Leia...
 | FOR THE HOLIDAYS! Archival Find by Scott Ryfun |
Christmas in the Stars: the Star Wars Christmas Album
Meco Yeston (with Anthony Daniels)
Shortly before Christmas 1994 I was sitting with my fiancee (who became my wife Christmas 1995), looking in awe at my latest Star Wars
acquisition: Tomart's Price Guide to Worldwide Star Wars Collectibles by Stephen Sansweet and T. N. Tumbusch (a truly incredible book; if you don't have it, GET IT!). I lingered over the LP pages, looking to see how much a Rebel Mission to Ord Mantell would set me back if I ever found
one, when I saw something that rang a klaxon in the deep recesses of my brain. It was a Ralph McQuarrie painting of Threepio and Artoo helping Santa work in his shop. It was the cover of Christmas in the Stars: the Star Wars Christmas Album. How could I have forgotten that? The Star
Wars Christmas album, with music by Meco; I'd seen it once as a kid at Sears and had forgotten completely about it.
"Look at that," I said aloud, in the direction of my fiancee but not really to her. "That's one I'll never see on CD." But it planted a seed. When I worked at Camelot, we used to stock a CD from artist Meco Yeston called Meco's Greatest Hits. I knew it had his disco rendition of the Star Wars Theme (as well as Close Encounters, Empire, and Ewok Celebration), but did it have anything from the Christmas album? I figured it was worth a shot.
The disc was no longer in stock and had been deleted from the catalog, so it looked like I was out of luck. I was making my way out of the store dejectedly, though not quite ready for hara-kiri, when I passed by the Christmas CD section. On a lark, I decided to check under Meco. There he was! The CD was called Christmas in the Stars; that was promising. I flipped the jewel box over and checked the track listing; lo and behold, it was identical to The Star Wars Christmas album, AND the disc was only $6.99. Needless to say, I snatched it up, and it's since become one of my favorite Star Wars oddities.
Throughout Christmas in the Stars the seminal protocol droid of our time, C-3PO, attempts to convey the emotions and nuances of humanity to his counterpart R2-D2. The album opens with Threepio fretting about how quickly Christmas seems to arrive each year. Threepio's concern leads to a rousing, tin toe-tapping sing-along tune, the title track for the album, "Christmas in the Stars." It serves to set the mood for the album, a nine song quest for the meaning of humanity set against the backdrop Christmas.
As the opening subsides with a flutter of jingle bells, Artoo inspires the next song with but a simple query: 
"What are bells?"
What follows is a delightful tour through all things human, called, "Bells Bells Bells." At times the poor plebe Artoo-Detoo borders on understanding, but, as is so often the case with these astrodroids, he lets it slip through his Intellex IV processor.
A later song, though rather quaint and bouncy, is one of the least satisfying on the entire album. "What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)" is a fun-filled frolic, wherein the elven assistants of the intergalactic S. Claus attempt to find a gift for famous wookiee Chewbacca. Ultimately, they present him with a gift of "Love and understanding/ Goodwill to men/ and wrap it all up in a bright-colored ribbon/and we'll give it to him all over again."
The dramatic thrust of the album surges forward on the next track for "Artoo-Detoo We Wish You a Merry Christmas." As the song opens, Threepio gives Artoo his first Christmas present. 
It isn't, however, until the following tune that little Artoo truly begins to loosen his restraining bolt. Threepio guides Artoo through the human Christmas standard "Sleigh Ride," which begins with Artoo inquiring about the nature of singing. Threepio offers Artoo several chances to practice until he finally comes as close to producing music as the limited vocal capabilities of an astromech droid can.
Other songs on the album include the elven sung "Merry, Merry Christmas," (an inane listing of bizarre Christmas gifts); "A Christmas Sighting ('Twas the Night Before Christmas)," with Threepio trying to weave the familiar tale while Artoo continually butts in; and "The Meaning of Christmas," a jubilant ditty sung by S. Claus (son of Santa). The album is a real photoreceptor-opener, too.
If you want to try to find this true Star Wars rarity, good luck! You'll probably have an easier time finding the original album. In fact, I checked all around this Christmas and it was nowhere to be found. The album was distributed by PolyGram Group Distribution on their PolyGram Special Markets label (PolyGram holds most of the old RSO Records catalog, on which this album was originally released). If you have trouble finding it in stores, write to PolyGram at PolyGram Group Distribution, Inc., 825 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10019 or GO POLYGRAM. Of course, if you just want a tape of it, e-mail me at 103327,1231. If you cover the cost for a tape and postage, I'll be more than happy to time-shift it for you.
[Ed.'s Note: This article would have been a little more timely had we been able to get ECHO STATION#5 out on schedule, just after New Year's. But I found Scott's discovery of this album (and the clips we ve included here) too tasty to put on a back shelf until holiday time 1996. That being said, I'll leave you with C-3PO's Season's Greeting...]
(When not digging up obscure Star Wars audio, contributor Scott Ryfun whistles a happy tune when collecting his mail at 103327.1231@compuserve.com)
