A "JOLLY" HOLIDAY? Singing the Blues with The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978) A Personal Journey by Jody Reeves

     One of the worst-kept secrets in the Star Wars community is the existence of the "Star Wars Holiday Special," which received its first and only airing on CBS in November 1978. If you are one of the many who have experienced this live-action television reunion of the heroes from ANH - I'm sorry to have to do this to you. If you have not gone through this rite of passage, then I'm happy to spread the pain.

      As the result of some cosmic imbalance, I have undertaken (read: was assigned) the task of writing a review of this Special. With great trepidation I inserted the tape, picked up a beverage and held my fingers at the ready on the pause button (OK, so I pressed "stop" a few times and cried... I won't bore you with my problems.) The pain began with the opening credits proudly announcing "And Artoo-Detoo as Artoo-Detoo!" (Duh!) I immediately asked my roommate to shoot me. Or feed me to a rancor. Heartless woman that she is, she did neither; she did enjoy laughing at me the whole time I was watching the tape, however. And guess what, folks -- it really is CheezeWhiz edited for television (At the time of publication, a letterbox edition was not available!)

     The premise is simple and we're initially teased with the promise of insight into the universe that is Star Wars. Chewbacca is trying to return to his homeworld of Kashyyyk in time to celebrate "Life Day," the major Wookiee holiday that recognizes the importance of life. But getting there is proving to be as difficult as most events in the Star Wars universe; Chewie is running late, and Han Solo is pushing the limits to get past Imperial blockades and patrols. Waiting for Chewie on Kashyyyk are his mate, Malla, their son, Lumpy, and Chewie's father, Itchy. Malla is concerned about Chewie's tardiness, and follows up via visual communicator with Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker regarding the Millennium Falcon's progress. Even though she is assured that Chewie is on his way, Malla continues to worry. Things get further complicated when a squad of Imperials show up and search the house under the pretense of looking for Rebel sympathizers. Eventually, the officers depart, but leave one trooper behind in the event that Chewie shows up.

      The writers could have stayed with this story and explained more about Wookiees and their society. Background could have been given about Chewie's life-debt to Han and the Imperial occupation of Kashyyyk. But nooooo...suddenly and without adequate warning, the audience (by now in tears) is diverted to a cantina scene that bears no relevance at all to the story of Chewie's family. Yes, this infamous "Bea Arthur as a bartender in the Mos Eisley Cantina" scene was cheese in it's worst form. I had a near overwhelming desire to commit hari-kari with a lightsaber as I forced myself to watch Bea singing and dancing with Ponda Baba. All I could do was sit with tear-glazed eyes and ask, "Why?" Perhaps I wouldn't have minded as much if it had a direct bearing on the story and the main characters, but this was absolutely pointless.

     Simply stated, everything about this production was equally pointless. For example, this show was broadcast a year after Star Wars: A New Hope was released. That should have given everyone time to create new costumes for our heroes. I'm sure that Luke, Han and Leia would have come across a change in clothes at some point between the Battle of Yavin and the events in the Special. Worse yet, did they really have to put mascara on Mark Hamill? It wasn't as if he were auditioning for a part in Rocky Horror. Though I realize that these were the Seventies - did they have to keep the shiny lip gloss on Carrie Fisher? Then, there were the musical numbers. It was like watching Don Kirshner's Intergalactic Rock Concert: bad clothes, too much makeup and utterly meaningless.

     There were bright spots to the special, most notably the animation that Lumpy was watching. This cartoon insert involved the main characters, was voiced by the original cast (including James Earl Jones in the only appearance of Darth Vader in the special) and officially introduced bounty hunter favorite Boba Fett to the saga. Here, Boba Fett appears to aid our heroes, but has secretly been employed by Vader to gain the rebels' confidence and ultimately betray them to the Empire. Alas, this animation was woefully short.

     When I gratefully realized that the end was approaching, as Chewie made it home and Han helped the stormtrooper take a plunge off the house's balcony, I felt a surge of relief. It was short-lived. If I could spend a few minutes with one of the writers, I would ask, "Why did Han have to hug everybody?" (Then I would have slapped him silly.) The character of Han Solo was essentially a loner and aloof, which was part of his charm. But there he was...hugging every Wookiee in sight. And the worst of the warm and fuzzies was yet to come.

     It was like I'd been running from an enemy and saw safety ahead...but then I ran full-tilt into a transparisteel wall: the cast gathered together in a group hug scene (!!!) and Princess Leia... sang. She sang "The Life Day Song" rather off key and theoretically to the melody of the Star Wars Main Theme. The only thing missing was Lando Calrissian and his off-beat clapping from the ending of Return of the Jedi.

     That's when I knew I couldn't take it anymore; no one should be subjected to this pain. Since I've never even pretended to have the patience of a Jedi, I felt no guilt in hitting the "stop" button and changing the channel to Monday Night Football. My faith in the universe was restored by watching the Forty-Niners spank the Dolphins. But as I drifted off to sleep that night, I could still hear Bea Arthur singing....

[Ed. Note: Jody Reeves' tenuous hold on sanity was only made possible by her job duties in Washington D.C., where the activities in the Star Wars Holiday Special must seem rational by comparison.]