Spoiler-Free Review

Why in the galaxy would anyone want this book? That's the question I asked myself as I dutifully purchased this undersized paperback to review here. (Despite tens of thousands of hits per week for my reviews, I am unfortunately still not on Del Rey's list of the privileged many who get free review copies.)

Boy, was I pleasantly surprised!

The book is divided into two sections. The first, The Phrase Book by "Ebenn Q3 Baobab," is a truly hilarious mock-treatise on the languages, cultures, and tourist attractions of the Star Wars galaxy (affectionately known here on Echo Station as -- for want of a better name -- Fred.) The second, Behind the Sounds by Ben Burtt, contains more than 50 pages of fascinating commentary on the sounds of Star Wars, written in a very readable style that conveys not only Burtt's innovative genius but also his delightfully dry sense of humor. There is also an Appendix of fully translated alien language scenes from the Star Wars trilogy: 1) Greedo confronts Han, 2) Solo bargains with Jabba, 3) C3PO speaks to the Ewoks, and 4) the Ewok celebration song. Even the "About the Author" page is charming.

As for the art, I haven't been too impressed with the choice of Sergio Aragonés as a comic illustrator for Dark Horse's Star Wars Tales, but his squirrelly style is absolutely perfect for this book. The cover by Warren Fu is also a delight -- I especially liked "Baby Fett" in diapers with a lollipop in one hand and a toy blaster in the other.

I will go so far as to say this book would bring a smile to even the most cynical Star Wars fan. Buy one for yourself or for someone you know who needs a good laugh. The only way this book could be better is if it came in an audio version with Anthony Daniels narrating Part One and Burtt himself reading Part Two.

Overall, I'll give this one an A+.

Excerpts (mild spoilers)

There are so many examples to choose from; I found something to smile or laugh about on almost every page. If you're looking for a comprehensive -- or even accurate -- dissertation on the languages Burtt created, you're out of luck. (For instance, I find it hard to believe the Huttese phrase "owamma wonka" really translates to "I've lost a filling.") Everything is played for laughs.

The phrase book covers Bocce, Droidspeak, Ewokese, Gunganese, Huttese, Jawaese, Neimoidian, Shyriiwook, Sullustan, and Tusken. Here are a few examples of phrases that might come in handy while travelling in Fred. You'll have to get the book to find the correct translations:

• "Can you turn the gravity down a bit?"
• "That scratch was there when I rented the ship."
• "The payment is in the HoloNet."
• "Is this freshly dead?"
• "How do you give your fur that shine?"
• "Will the bill list the title of the holo?"
• "Keep your suction cups where I can see them."
• "Where is the escape pod?"
• "I'd like my head shaved."
• "Thank you" and "please." (No equivalent in Huttese)

The book even includes a description of the major hotels, eateries, shopping, and attractions of Mos Eisley (such as the big open markets U Wanna Wanna and Mo' Moolee Rah).

Trivia - Part One

Test yourself on your intergalactic know-how. Highlight the text after the question to see the answer. Web TV users, click here for answers.

Where can you find the best larvae in the Outer Rim Territories? Buzzee's.

What exactly does an Ewok mean when he says, "Yub yub"? Let's go.

Last season, a rowdy bunch of university students on holiday accidentally extinguished the Ewok lantern of sacred light with what toy? A water balloon.

What language requires no tongue or lip movement? Shyriiwook.

How do you tell a non-Basic-enabled droid to lower the voltage? Make a series of short buzzes with your tongue, being sure to use a pitch distinguishable from those of electrocution.

What secret phrase should you use to discourage a GNK droid who knocks on your door soliciting funds for the Cult of the Power Droids? Gonk Gonk. Gonk ko kyenga see.

What beings smell like a rancid load of eopie cuds? Jawas.

What number does not exist in Jawa arithmetic? Seven.

Diving for cover is considered an aggressive move by what culture? Tusken Raiders.

You should take taste inhibitor or taste converter tablets before partaking of what culture's cuisine? Gungan.

Name the Neimoidian nonverbal form of communication. Pak Pak.

What disease is referred to half-mockingly as the principal export of the Neimoidian home planet? Brainworm Rot Type C.

Trivia - Part Two

Name the bear who provided sounds used as a basis for Chewbacca's voice. Pooh.

An insanely aggressive dachshund provided the voice of what creature? Jabba's rancor.

Huttese is based on what real-world language? Quechua.

What was the first droid voice Burtt generated for Star Wars? The droid who helps Luke at the moisture vaporator (cut scene from the beginning of the film).

What culture's language is a mixture of mock Tibetan, Kalmuck, and Lakota? Ewok.

What real-world accent was used for the Neimoidians? Thai.

***

(Toryn Farr knew everything about Star Wars back in 1977 thanks to Starlog Magazine. She's been trying to keep her know-it-all reputation ever since. During the precious few hours her kiddo is in school, Toryn attempts to run an internet design business and write fantasy fiction.)

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